love more.

It's not that easy to just love.

When you are 31 and have seen too much, felt too much, lost too much and you feel heavy with the weight of the problems of the world. But like Mother Theresa said, love until there is no more hurt only more love.

The more I learn about my mental illness and see it as a struggle rather than a disease I find it easier to love not only others , but most importantly myself.

Love does not have to be draining.

Open your heart up instead of keeping it in a cage. I went to a Reiki Master and she told me this. If I let my heart out of it's cage just a little, I'll bring a lot more peace in my life. And she was right. This does not mean open my self to the toxic people I have learned how to shut out. Nor does it mean just fall in love with everyone. The lesson and experience here is be kind. Everyone is struggling with something. At the end of the day or week, go home and decompress. It feels good to have compassion for others and it feels good to still take care of yourself.

Love your self FIRST.

We all are told this over and over again. Even if you can learn to like yourself, that is a good start. That is a wonderful start.

General rules to live by- so that you can love yourself:

SELF CARE

1. if it feels wrong , don't do it.
2. say "exactly" what you mean.
3. don't be a people pleaser.
4. trust your instincts.
5. never speak badly about yourself.
6. never give up on your dreams
7. don't be afraid to say "no".
8. don't be afraid to say "yes".
9. be kind to yourself.
10. let go of what you can't control.
11. stay away from drama and negativity.
12. LOVE

Today love was..

Today love was not about listening to screaming co-workers.
Today love was about blocking them out, and dreaming about the beach.
Love was: getting up at 11, eating wheat-free waffles, with vegan butter, maple syrup, strawberry yogurt, and fresh orange juice. Today love was: wearing comfy joe's jeans, long black tank, and flip-flops. Love went to work, blocked out people who yelled, thought about going to the beach, went home to eat bright pink, sweet watermelon, and cheesy-puffs.

When I was in high school I wrote about how ugly people can be, and how ugly people can make you feel. From my senior year diary I wrote "ugly people are like dead leaves on the dirty gound"

Sometimes I imagine mean, overly- selfish people this way, people who are negative, and only try to bring others down...they belnd in with all that is ugly in this world.
Why is ugliness so easy to give, instead of Love?

Here